Tuesday, 18 March 2008


Richard is still wondering what on earth possessed him to do David Bowie impressions at full volume on Saturday night.

Because, Richard, you are a cunt who thinks he is the living, breathing emodiment of all things 'music'.

Monday, 17 March 2008

You say it best...

Jools is at work. Nothing more to say.

And, remarkably, you've already said far, far too much.

The Big Day

Susan is still organising wedding stuff!! Just ordered balloons, all I need is chair covers!!....talk about last minute!!! xx.

I find people's wedding plans about the most mundane thing in the world when I'm hearing about it face to face. I mean, I don't care about what colour confetti you've got on pre-delivery or how much your cake is - all I'm interested in is how much free ale can I get my hands on, and how quickly can I get shitfaced and into someones underwear. So if I find talking face to face about this dull shit harmful to my grey matter, then words are almost failing me when it comes to this particular update. Almost, of course. I can still force out the words: Shut up you boring, boring woman. As long as their's booze on the tables, you could get married in a fucking shed for all anyone cares. No one gives a shit about chair covers at the wedding. And even less so here.

Wednesday, 12 March 2008

Curse Sir Walter Raleigh...

Sharon is tired.

I've seen so many of these recently, I don't know what they're supposed to encourage in others. Pity perhaps? But why would you pity someone for being tired, we're all busier and more stressed than ever. Partly due to technology. Perhaps, in part due to facebook, one mustn't wonder. It's strange and, like so many updates, one has to just say 'so what?' It doesn't matter to anyone else...especially coming from you Sharon, you're really unpopular. And a ginger.

Thursday, 6 March 2008

No updates barred.

Stu is fucked off at his boss because she is a massive racist.. fucking fat cow.

I'm so amazed by this I actually think I approve of it. You've really gone balls out there stu, well done.

Tuesday, 4 March 2008

Road to know-where

Lee Is on the 31 bus.

I mean come on. Come on. If we're now at the point where not only how you're feeling *emotionally* but also your precise geographic location is going to be interpreted through status updates then the government are wasting a lot of time and effort on things like ID cards and mobile phone tracking systems. You can find out where anyone, any fucking where, is now just by checking their status update. Not that you'd want to. Because, like me, you probably don't actually give a fuck where half of the people on your profile are.

Friday, 29 February 2008

Hunting high, hunting low

Harry says it's a high road on your own you've got to learn the way you do...why not? why not nothing?(still looking for a job).

Harry is looking for a job...and listening to the Arctic Monkeys.

Harry is looking for a job...and freezing!

I put it to you, Harry, that if you did a bit more actual looking for a job and a bit less actual updating your meaningless status on facebook you might stand a significantly better chance of acutally getting a FUCKING JOB. Ahem. Just a thought.